In this self-proclaimed vaporwave act, you’ll get two people who call themselves musicians. What you won’t get are these:

1. Good music
2. Musicians
3. A good band
4. A band at all

When I was five years of age and my mother was first in the hospital, she told me about her expeditions with touring bands. Since then, over the years, I have learned much from her about the ways and visible traits of talented people (musicians, etc).

To the kids on Instagram who follow them, to the kids at my high school who waste their time memorizing trivia about their past projects, to the three middle-aged men at The Stork Club who could not stop blabbering about any and everything I hate (including this):

STOP THIS VANTANA ROW BULLSHIT

This is what Vantana Row is:

1. A joke

Allow me to demonstrate:

I rest my case.